What is the world coming to?

The Socialist has left the country. This is a dark day for all communist-Americans. I mean, how can we go on?

But, look, I prefer to enjoy the view on the bright side. Jeanine let me go through her closet and take anything she wasn’t bringing with her to Peru or Patagonia or wherever she is going, and I made out like a bandit. Now I don’t need to go shopping this winter. Which is a good thing, considering our economy and all. Ah, considering. I love considering. Let’s consider together, shall we?

Shit sucks. I watch MSNBC with le baby. I don’t really get what anyone is saying except: the gov’t owns all the banks, and that means shit sucks. And will it be a recession with small r, or a Depression with big D? I don’t know. Levi loves Bristol. End of story.

So, anyhow, I was walking through South Station after my final goodbye with the Socialist, and feeling sort of strange: I was sad Che was leaving, but happy for her for taking such an adventure. And I was happy for my sort-of-new assortment of jeans and sweaters. Clothes are clothes, right? I stood with my bucketloads of Shaw’s bags with Jeanine’s shit in it, waiting by the elevator, pondering not seeing her for a year. Then I noticed the girl next to me. She was probably my age, sucking on a Sugar Daddy very loudly and wearing a very large Tennasnee Titans football jersey. There was a baby carrier at her feet. The kind with the handle, the plastic ones, you know what I mean.

Now, I consider myself a baby expert these days, so I looked down at the carrier, ready to coo. Me love BABIES. But there was no baby in there to smile at. Nope, there was large white rabbit just chilling out. Rabbit was alive. I sort of stared at it, and the owner stared at me, and I smiled, and she sucked, and then I looked away and was like, yep, that’s it, Jeanine has been lost to the Matrix.

But don’t worry because I kept walking, and when I entered the food court area of South Station I came across what I’m fairly certain was a dead homeless man. He was older, dressed in a sweatshirt and puffy vest, and lying motionless across three chairs. Two of his friends were screaming “Danny, wake up!” at him, and loudly. A police officer had a blue-latex-ed gloved finger in the man’s mouth, and Danny was not moving. The other cop was speaking something into his two-way. All around the probably dead man, people were eating their McDonald’s and staring. I don’t know what any of this means. But it was horrible. 

On a lighter note…

Um, awkward transition….

But I just have to say that these two ladies below don’t seem too concerned about the economy. What do they think they are, alien cyborgs free from the impact of the stock market? I mean, HERMES???

It has just dawned on me that Suri is in New York City right now. And I will be in New York City next weekend. You do the math. This could be EPIC.

Ohmygod, it’s final. I will kidnap Suri Cruise and bring her into my baby den in the suburbs of Massachusetts. Le baby and Suri will totally become BFF, and I will save Suri’s life and give her a white rabbit. Katie can come too, but only because I love her blouse in this picture so much. That thing is de-lish.