In an effort to distract myself from any real life situation….

That sentence made no sense. Oh, well. Keeping it. Basically, I have tons to write about: high-school reunion highlights and lowlights, boyfriend moving and experiencing weird mixed feelings of insane unhappiness coupled with relief at finally being a normal person again and not spending all my time with him, a bad audition last week, my play ending, moving to New York, the fact that I actually dreamt about making an ice cream sundae last night for a solid 45 minutes and at once point I put a can of whip cream in the microwave….BLAH BLAH BLAH

WHATEVER

I’d rather look at pictures of two of my favorite pretty people: Blake and Levi.

So. If you haven’t heard yet, Levi is headed to L.A., openly admitting his needs to make some cash for his baby boy unit Tripp and working at Micky D’s or hunting moose ain’t gonna cut it. (I think that’s his baby’s name? Could be Skate for all I know.) Good for him though. If that’s how he can make some change, why shouldn’t he? I mean, LA is where it’s at right….

Levi’s in this month’s pages of GQ and has been appearing on television shows. According to my sources, his manager is telling him to adopt a persona called “Ricky Hollywood” to ease into the transition of stardom, and to gain some confidence and business savvy. Like my girl Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce thing. (I so understand where they’re coming from. I have a named ultra-ego too, but  I’ll save that for another post.) But, like, who wouldn’t watch a reality TV show starring Levi Johnston? No one, that’s who. Even if he’s as boring as he threatens to be, Levi is pretay cute, plus Alaska sort of fascinates me, plus there’d have to be a Piper cameo from time to time, which would make everything worth it. And I mean EVERYTHING.

(Ahhh would be so much more interesting than The Hills.….)

And speaking of hot blonde women, Blake wore this little Michael Kors number to the CFDA a few nights ago, and looks, once again, totally devastarimi. She is like a life-size barbie doll. I love that pink!

I mean, yikes. I just love her WAY TOO MUCH.

Back to the Hills. I happened to catch Lauren Conrad on Conan the other night. Yikes. And not in a Blake Lively yikes. Yikes, as in, you seem perfectly nice and all, but GOOD LORD how are you so rich and famous, you are SO BORING THAT IT’S PAINFUL. Okay, probably part of the reason I was getting so annoyed was because my boyfriend’s friend was totally oogling her on TV and rambling about how amazingly hot she is, and I knew my boyfriend was thinking the same thing too. Uh, men. Plus, I was sort of drunk. But, I mean, she just “wrote” a book or something (YEAH OK), and she there’s sitting next to LARRY DAVID and talking to CONAN and her face looks plastic and she’s just not even remotely funny. At all. Like, not even a little bit.

So that’s that I guess. More to come later. 

Peace, love, and snacks.

-Caroline.

(Hmmmm, I think I’m going to start signing all my blog posts in my name in italics, and maybe start referring to myself in the 3rd person on my blog, because that’s what Ricky Hollywood would do/plus-also Gossip Girl. Hmmm. I think I need to back away from the computer. I sound drunk.)

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