The world is coming to an end….

TINA FEY, of all people, caught doing the side-arm at the Emmy’s after party!!!!!

Fey doing side-arm!!!!! A sad, sad, day indeed.

I can’t really hate on Tina though. Sometimes even I do a sidearm these days. And I don’t even mean to!

I bet Tina didn’t mean to. I know how it is at the Emmy’s or even just living the normal person life!: the person with the camera is like “one…two…” and before you know it, you’re awkwardly placing your hand on your hip and jutting your elbow out into the air like a freaking lunatic, all in the name of looking seven pounds thinner and 10 times more sexy, or whatever it is that the side-arm is supposed to give you. Who cares about our dignity, and putting our arms at our sides where they belong, unless we’re telling a wildly funny story and camera-caught mid-gesticulation! Oh, Tina. Sigh.

Side-arm is a true epidemic. It did not exist four years ago. No one in high school side-armed at prom, or at graduation. Now, you have chicks side-arming on regular nights out, at dinners, or at freaking cancer walks for christ sakes. 

My eyes!!!!!! (When you couple side-arm with the Olsen twin patented troutpout, dangerous things happen. True, this isn’t an official trout pout, it’s a double side-arm complete with a crazy face, but STILL. Is there a sense of humor in this? I’m very confused?)

It’s sad that many women today can no longer smile in photos. No, no, no. They must purse their lips together and put some sort of terrorist glint in their eye, all in the name of being considered “cool” or something, by like NYLON magazine. Again, I sort of get it. When you purse your lips together and look really stupid, a few things are guaranteed: your teeth can’t look wretched (which 50% of the time they will, but hey, isn’t life about taking risks???), your cheekbones do look better, and…I guess some women are into it (that Posh Spice always look like a million bucks riiiiight?!?!?), so at least your impressing them with how seriously you take yourself? The whole thing reminds me of how I feel about the Marni fashion line in general. And yet….sometimes, I do it. Uh. Everyone else is!  But every time I side-arm or trout pout I feel deeply ashamed. It’s like smoking ciggs when you’re sixteen, even though you hate the way they taste. Well, maybe not, but close. All I know is that when guys start side-arming, the end will be near.

Um…..I love her. She looks happy. GIVE ME TEEEETH.