My dad, aka my roommate, is out of town for five days.

I just bought a bottle of red wine, a bag of Stacy’s pita chips, a package of fun size Hershey’s Extra Dark chocolate, and downloaded the following two songs on iTunes. 

I wanna feeeel the heeeeat…..

It’s going to be a great night.

(And I refuse to let the price of groceries in NYC bring me down. I just bought tuna, pasta and the aforementioned products, and spent, like, ninety dollars. UH. BRING ON THE HULU.)

It’s Friday Night. It’s 1 a.m. Is it wrong to be Google imaging Ivanka Trump?

I love her wedding dress more than I love sharp cheddar cheese on a piece of a toast with a drizzle of olive oil. And that’s saying alot.

She is  amazing. LACE, UH.

Also, just bought this song in iTunes. LOVER IT. Makes me want to put on a fringed suede jacket and dance. Um….

An old welsh witch! Happy Halloween!

(I’m wearing a normal outfit tonight (well, a sequined Dynasty top is normal to me), with the same pink wig I’ve now rocked since fall of 2006, for various occasions. Pink wigs are the answer to all the world’s problems. You heard it here first.)

Except, not really.

I got really sick. For like, way too long.  I’m thinking it’s from either:

a) the wee adorable babies i watch who have runny noses and fevers themselves

b) my gross sickly scurvy infected boyfriend out in LA who infected me on his romantic dash over here

c) one of the zoo animals i took improv class with last week or

d) passing vera wang on the street 2 weeks ago, and she breathed on me. (breathed on me? is that english?)

I don’t really like not writing with capital letters. Don’t know why I did just then. Anyherm, I feel better now. Hooray! I hate being sick. Especially when you’re sick on an aero bed. No fun there. Plus, I missed THREE AUDITIONS due to my illness, so if I never make it big, we all know way. Dev.

I watched a lot of Hulu while feeling faint-ish. Really into that new sitcom “Modern Family,” with Al Bundy and the hot lady from Happy Gilmore. Officially all caught up on Glee now too. I still can’t say I’m the biggest fan of all the song and dance numbers (which is sort of the basis of the show….), but all the crazy, snarky characters, esp. Mr. Schuster’s wife, make it worth it. I likey.

I’ve also watched the Nine trailer about fifteen times. I think my head will explode when I see the film. I really can NOT wait.

Dat’s a lot of star power! (Fergie…..your girlfriend….woof….)

Ummmm, Nicole looks drop-dead. I want that coat.

Can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait!

Juuuust hanging out in the room I share with my Dad, watching the Sox on mute. Thankfully, he’s not snoring.

Nothing else more to report other than I’m full from too much ice cream. And I’m really excited that the Socialist beaches herself on US shores so soon.

Speaking of long-distance relationships, my boyfriend and I have reached a new low point, or rather, I have. Tonight, I drew a star on my hand, and convinced him over grainy Skype video that I’d gotten a tatoo. He believed me and got a little upset. So yeah…long-distance relationships are so exciting…

Of course, I didn’t draw that star on my hand with this in mind. I did it this morning, in improv class, while contemplating how much I will never be Amy P or Tina Fey. But when Will asked me what was on my hand, I couldn’t resist. He spent twenty minutes totally not believing me, calling me a liar, laughing in my face, but finally I broke him down. I explained that it was super tiny, that I got it with a friend on Tuesday night, that it was an impulse and not a big deal, since it was so small. It was cute! It was fun! It was so not like me, and thus cool! He showed a hint of a grimace. He looked sort of annoyed. He couldn’t believe I didn’t tell him for two days. I had won. Score!!!!! 

Now I’m worried that he’s going to get me back my telling me he has the swine flu or scurvy or lost a limb or something. In my defense he’s been very sick and went to a concert two nights ago with a 102 degree fever, so I deserve to make him feel bad for a change.

ANYHOW

plans for this weekend involve a guilty pleasure screening of “Whip It” (totally crushing on Drew lately)

and also, “An Education.” I have three auditions, an improv show, and some Hedda Gabbler rehearsing. Fun times.

Lastly, my Dad’s words of wisdom on the whole Letterman affair, at dinner tonight:

“I mean….these women are in their thirties! How old do you think that cupcake was supposed to be in those Braveheart movies? Seventeen? Give me a break.”

Clearly, the man is on D. Letterman’s side. I semi-agree, though he’s still creepy. (My Dad, and Letterman.) And I probably wouldn’t invoke a Mel Gibson film for my defense.

A photo taken by my older brother, Alex, who has been living in China for the past thirteen months. He is way talented, no? This photo is pretty beautiful, I think.

Also, Alex, let’s set up a skype date. Oh, and let’s blackmail our father into sending me to visit you in February!!!!!!

(Yes, and this photo is copyrighted cause I say it is. It’s Alex’s. Back off.)

So I was going to write a post about my 40 hour whirlwind weekend of romance with my boyfriend for you all BUT THEN I got a life-changing text message from my best friend Mari which contained information TEN MILLION times more important than the exhibit I saw at the MET with Will and how cute I find his sneakers….

The
news
is………..

TOM AND KATIE AND SURI ATE AT THE RESTAURANT SHE WORKS AT IN BOSTON TODAY!!!!!!!!
TOM TIPPED HIS WAITER A HUNDRED BUCKS!!!!
KATIE ORDERED EXTRA BUTTER AND SYRUP WITH HER FRENCH TOAST!!!!!! 
SHE HAS FLAWLESS SKIN!!!!
HOLY FUCK I KNOW I KNOW!!!!

(I actually muttered “oh my god” in such a serious tone when I first got the text, that Will was like, “um, what?” in a slightly concerned way. He clearly didn’t appreciate this news when I told him THAT THIS WAS WHAT WAS UP. Not to mention, I had a dream the night before with SURI in it, though in the dream Suri had a teenage boy’s mustache, like the woman who works in the building I take acting classes in. Dream was creepy. Also, I am now realizing more and more that I have recurring dreams that feature people I know from childhood or random teachers I’ve had in my life or um FRIENDS from college, all saying bad things about me to my face. It’s not pleasant. I don’t think I need a shrink to tell me that this means something odd. Hmmm. Confused sigh.)

So, yeah….
I am tired. I had a wonderful day with Will on Saturday: walking around Central Park, seeing los babies and hanging out with their rentos, Marina and Kevin, going to the museum, getting the tasting menu at the restaurant we went to (yes, Will had to remind me not to eat everything on every dish we ordered so I would have room for dessert and not be complaining too much at the end of the meal aka threatening to not go uptown to meet my Dad for a drink, because I was too full to move or make polite conversation. I was like, UM I KNEW THAT. We had salad, two generous pasta dishes, a fish entree, a cheese plate with goat cheese heaven, and amazing dessert. And we only got in one argument over the two-and-a-half hour meal! 

I guess I lied, and WILL actually write about our weekend. So. Today was so beautiful, just perfect, perfect weather. Will and I had lunch with two of my girlfriends, Giavanna and Leandra, who are twins and he was confused who was who. Great story, but I get a kick out of people confusing them. Then we were really active and went exploring the city aka did nothing but watch football before he left.

I never think I’m going to be upset that Will has to go, until he’s leaving, and then I’m really upset. It always catches me off guard. It’s great fun. Then I always think he’ll not be able to leave me when I’m crying, like in a movie, but that also doesn’t work. He’s like, “Okaaay, I have to go now. Really.” Then he leaves. But thankfully, my Dad had just downloaded “Midnight Train to Georgia” on his laptop (ha!), which I listened to right after Will left, and then I felt better, and again, sort of like I was in a movie. I also watched a new episode of Community, and I think that show is funny, so that was nice. Then I ate some Tasti-d-lite with Heath bar. Hmmm, this is a like a long twittering paragraph. But there is nothing like Hulu and Gladys Knight and chemical-filled fro-yo to make a girl with snot coming off her face feel better. Also, my boyfriend is the best, and I thank him for flying all over the country for a ridiculously short amount of time together, while probably getting himself sick in the process. Love is grand!

(Oh, and the fact that I downloaded the following song while slightly tipsy on Friday night makes me feel better too. So cheesy, I can’t GET ENOUGH OF HER. )

Of her either:

Penelope reminds me of the Socialist, who is returning to our shores very soon….Another reason to be happy. 

K. Goodnight.

My boyfriend is coming to visit me this weekend. For about thirty hours. He gets in from Los Angeles on Saturday morning, leaves Sunday at 6 p.m. It’s supposed to rain. I haven’t made many plans; going to introduce him to my babysitting family (duh), maybe try to get him to go on a gondola ride in the Central Park Lake, maybe listen to some jazz with him and my Dad and pretend to be Betty Draper in one of her rare happy moods; but most likely we will end up eating a lot of food and then I’ll be complaining to him that I’m full and it’s all his fault, which is my go-to-move on our rare visits together. Regardless, I’m very excited. It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen him. I love this city, and I can’t wait to be with him in it, even if IT’S JUST FOR A DAY. Uber sigh. 

Right now Will is at a Pearl Jam concert in L.A., aka he’s dancing around heaven in a pile of lollipop gumdrops, which is what I think is going on in his head/body whenever he gets to hear Eddie’s voice live. He went to their concert last night too. Spoiled brat, I know. Kid loves Pearl Jam even more than he wants to be Tom Brady. That didn’t really make sense. Anyhow, the goon sent me their new CD last week as a surprise gift (cuuuuuute, riiiight), and the track below is one of my favorites. I like the piano especially. I’m looking forward to listening to this song in his Jeep in a few weeks, which is when I trek out back to L.A. to visit him and stalk the Kardashians.

Um…

Uh, gross, I’m so majorly in love with my boyfriend. I mean, I’m sorry to say it again, but, hmmm, occasionally it overwhelms me fo sho, and I feel so very lucky. He is a wonderful guy. Thus, even though he loves Vedder’s voice more than me-okay Will literally JUST texted me to say “my seats are incredible!” (He must be flipping out like a kid on Christmas.)

Now he has texted me to say, “I might cry tonight.”

Hmmm. Interesting. I wish I was there. Really, though. Meh.

Here is the song.

Juuuust reading a novel on a folding chair in the kitchen right now. Well, I stopped reading it. I borrowed it from acting school. It’s a collection of short stories by J.D. Salinger, and I think some incest is going down, and it’s creeping me out.

ANYHOW, you know those moments when you realize you’re your mother? I am having one right now. I’m staring at a book I bought recently. From Barnes&Nobles. Clearance section. “1001 Greatest Things Ever Said About New York.” It’s a page-turner, lemme tell you. 

Did I need this book? No. Do I have a house to put books in? No. Maybe an apartment? No. But whatever, it was looking at me like IT NEEDED ME, so I bought it. Whatever, it was on sale!!! (That was my mother speaking, not me.)

Um….

here are some quotes from it that I like so far:

“People I know in New York are incessantly on the point of going back where they came from to write a book…”
-A.J. Liebling
(um…I think that like every day….fuck.) 

“In Manhattan if your ass was on fire, they wouldn’t piss on it to put it out.”
-Joe Flaherty

“New York is full of moments…it is performance art. It is the great leveler.”
-Annette Myers

“I love New York. I’ve got a gun.”
-Charles Barkley

Also just remembered another good Lulu story. Yesterday we were chatting in the kitchen, and I held up the newest cover of NY magazine, to show her the picture on it, because the dude was winking, and I thought she might like to see it.

Lulu took one look at the thing, and nodded knowingly. “Oh, I know that man,” she said. “He’s in my book, a million hundred cats.”

Since Lulu was referring to a book that I also liked a lot as a tot (okay, and maybe as a preteen too…), I knew what her mix-up was. She thought our first president was in “Millions of Cats.” In her defense, the cat dude and Washington on the dollar bill DO look alike.

I smiled and told her that they look similar, but that this man on the magazine was named “George Washington.” 

Lulu wrinkled her nose. “That’s a gross name.” She then continued eating grapes and giving me the stink eye.

Okaaaay, time for bed. I was going to watch an episode of GLEE first, but it hypes me up and makes me want to start dancing, so I think I’m better off with attempting to read some sort of “hard” novel, and thus getting bored and falling asleep, just like in college.

Goodnight.

Juuuuust a day spent watching specials on FOX or CBS or whatever about the rehabiliation of Michael Vick and crying. (I know, I know…..but second chances people! When you add in the string music and him running in slow-mo onto the field again….COME ON!) Then some Mad Men, Season 2. Peggy’s dress is this episode kills me. I want to wear it RIGHT NOW, as I go to Duande Reade to buy dental floss and apple juice. 

And again…

Everything about it is perfection. (Also, how good does that cake look? I am really craving birthday cake right now. And milk.)

In other breaking news, I am really enjoying the new shows Community and Glee.

Jane Lynch=icon of my life.

YUM.

Today (well, in, like, two hours), I have my Level 1 Improv Show at the UCB theatre in NYC. I’m scurred. I’ve been up in front of people before ahhhhcting, but never improvising. It shall be interesting. I hope I don’t pass out. Anyhoo, this dude in my class, John, sent our whole class this video last night (yeah, we all email, we’re all friends, it’s cool), for some inspiration, and it’s pretty great. 

(I’ve watched it about five times. Don’t pretend it doesn’t make you want to go for a spirited jog and/or kick-ass at your improv show….)