Just another burnt granola Monday.

For Christmas this year, I am making people mason jars filled with home-made granola, because who didn’t wish for a mason jar filled with home-made granola when they were a child, only to be wildly disappointed by Santa when they woke up with a Puppy surprise and/or bike instead? I think pretty much everyone, right? Yeah, it’s going to be amazing.

The problem is I’m having some issues with the execution. Tonight I spent almost two hours making granola, destroying my kitchen and stovetop with a trail of splattered ingredients, and then proceeded to burn both batches while I watched SNL on Hulu and ate the world’s most disgusting frozen pizza. I then stuffed my face with about seven fistfuls of charred oats, trying to convince myself that the flavor was “nutty” rather than “coal” and thus still giftable, but I have now come to terms with the reality of my botched night of cooking, and also with my severe stomachache. It’s Monday night, it’s raining, I have a room filled with empty mason jars….

This must be what Kate Middleton feels like right now. Child’s pose, here I come.

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